Basics.

Everything evolves . Language does. Power does. Survival does. And so does manipulation. We like to believe that we are safer now, that because we can name manipulation, study it, and warn against it, we are less likely to fall for it. History flatters us that way. It suggests progress is linear, that once something is exposed, it loses its power. But if you watch anime or read manga, you should know; naming it might just as well make it more dangerous.  But that isn’t how evolution works. We only recognise manipulation today because, at some point, we figured it out. Before that, it simply felt like life. The con only becomes obvious after it has worked long enough to earn a name. Unfortunately it is also true that evolution is not lateral. It does not move everyone forward at the same speed, and it never grants immunity. Some people still fall for old tricks. Others spot them instantly and oh boy, don't humans love to look down on one another.  And most of us, quietly, uncom...

If I received M-pesa every time I heard this, wouldn't we all be happy? “It is what it is.” “That’s just how people are.” “At least it’s not worse.” “You know how life is.” “I’m fine, I’ve learned to manage.” "Just don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed" They are never said with bitterness. If anything, anyone who says this sounds calm, even wise, as though they define emotional maturity. But many of them are not signs of healing. They are signs of getting used to things. And getting used to things is not the same as being at peace. Self-blame has a bad reputation, and for good reason. It can spiral into shame, self-punishment, and emotional paralysis. But before it becomes destructive, self-blame begins as awareness. It asks:Why does this keep happening to me?, Why do I feel hurt here?, Why am I the one always adjusting?, Even when the conclusions are wrong, the instinct is honest: something feels misaligned. Self-blame is loud. Uncomfortable. Emotio...