They are hurt.

Now, as much as people parade to be in control, there are those few factors that are just beyond us as humans. Pain and Hurt are such. They demand to be felt and there’s really not much we can naturally do to outrun or ignore these feelings. Again, they demand to be felt.

But at the same time, pain is not relative. I, for instance, are terribly terrified of needles yet my little sister not as much. While one thing could cause you tremendous pain, to the next guy it could tickle. While Tai Lung’s Nerve Attack totally wrecked the Furious Five, it only tickled Po. But the trick is, it is not a measure of strength or weakness. 

So while you’re thinking about it, in your everyday life, we do so many things both consciously and subconsciously. Out of all these human feats, our friends, spouses and strangers get offended, they get hurt. Notice I said friends too? (For the rest of this idea, I’ll refer you to a previous article, Consideration.) More often than not the intention to hurt them isn’t there, you don’t even notice that harm’s been done. When they get mad or sad about it, it is baffling, why you mad bro? it doesn’t make sense, and when you find out, you lose even more sense on it because why they mad over such small shit, come on. For guys it’s always a why you gay. You make fun of it, because according to you, it’s not something people should get mad or hurt over. But that right there only means that you do not understand. That you are being selfish. That you should be a better friend, a better lover, a better person.

But here’s where this is really going, you just can’t decide if you hurt someone or not. You might as well be prettier than Brianna (it’s not possible). You cannot know how they feel; how much they feel. You can’t even rely on how they act. It’s what they say, man, they can't help it. if it hurts them it does, if you hurt them, you did. they can't change how they feel, you can't just undo that you hurt them. Now I know there’s a bunch of manipulative souls out there but that’s no excuse. You just can’t ever know someone enough to decide how they should feel over what. If they say they’re hurting, they are. More importantly, if they say by you, you are not allowed to become defensive. It shouldn’t be an option. You only make it worse. Breathe, you hurt them, apologize, fix it, be better.