Do you really know why you're in your relationship?

I was in my first relationship a little early last year, and it was alright. But when it ended, i couldn't stop thinking about why it did, i mean put the instantaneous reasons aside, now that i think of it, there was way more than that, and i just couldn't stop thinking about it, why didn't it work. It lacked something, a reason most of us don't really put into consideration, the basic reason as to why we go into relationships.

I find that for people, the reason to why they're in a relationship is because of characters of their partner. I can't say what hers was(i mean,ha, like there could be a reason to be with me except pity),  for others it's because they can, for others it's because their partner is pretty or some other superficial reason. See, we only think about what we're getting, we assume they want us too so they must be getting something, we don't really figure out what we are actually giving. And this being selfish isn't even my problem with it. See trick is, it doesn't last, at least not often enough.

You know why you're dating her, and I'm happy that you found all of that in her, but what are you giving her. Without asking her why she's dating you, can you tell why she is. Can you guarantee that she'll actually lose something if she loses you. And no, a superficial reason doesn't count, there's lotsa guys with more money than you, and yes Larry, you don't have the biggest dick. I mean ofc there's what she thinks she's getting, but is there actually sumn she's getting, is it tangible enough to keep her around.
You see, most often, these superficial aspects of what you call love lose their lustre. They find people with more of that, better of that, their friends can convince them otherwise because there's no actual reason she's there.

Relationships cannot be built on the basic illusion of feelings and security. There has to be something more specific she's getting, something she doesn't have guarantee she'll find away from you. She has to lose sth when she loses you, it shouldn't ever be pointless that she was with you, you shouldn't ever feel regret that you were with her.