The Art of Language: Defining Love

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Definition is an insanely interesting subject for me. Word choice especially, how they say things and especially with which words they choose to say it in. But even more interesting, are what I very recently learned are called Gerund Phrases. You know this like in popular phrases like consumed by rage, falling in love, lost in thought, drowning in emotion or even surrendering to passion. Of course, it makes sense in a phrase but independently the choice of words was always suspect, why is love considered a fall? Why is marriage which is supposed to be the most beautiful experience referred to as settling down? Why not settling up? Does this make as much sense for you as it does for me? Considering how much word choice influences our understanding of concepts.

So in this spiral, I go back to my favourite word to listen to people try to define; Love. I have decided that we are unable to define love unless we are actively in love. It's an outside-the-club looking-in kind of situation, it's silly when you’re out of it and unclear but oh boy when it happens to you then you know. Because I find that love is in everyday things, it only matters if you’re in love or not. Going for evening walks could be silly but when you’re in love and you’re asked to go out for a walk it’s a whole different experience. People can buy you things, yeah, but when someone you’re in love with buys you the same things, you light up.

So we link that and the gerund phrases up there with affirmations. If we define love as a fall, then we relinquish control of the experience. People get to then decide that it was a mistake, they fell and are now up. I mean who falls intentionally? Which explains the prevailing thought process that love just happens just like falling down does? No intentionality? If you say yes that’s why your ex left you.

Love is not a fall, it’s a process, an intentional process, doing everyday things just with intention. Supposed to accumulate over time into a decision. If you do things in the name of love its different from doing things because of it. Which to me stands out as the difference between actual love and infatuation. Because now you’re going out of your way to do all these things because of love and of course you’ll get tired. That’s why a lot of the things we do because of love are embarrassing or cringe. But that’s not love, love in my opinion is supposed to be almost effortless as an experience. Just being yourself just in love. Doing the things you enjoyed just now with someone you love. Places you used to love going to, shows you used to watch, people you used to hangout with and essentially again, just being yourself but in love.

That way you don’t get tired of it, because it's just you being yourself. You aren’t going too out of your way unless you have to and you are enjoying it because theres no stretch. The love changes will come naturally.  

 

Let's go back to the Basics.

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