Expectations

The most prevalent wrong advice I've heard is 'don't have expectations and you won't get hurt.' and while I would see where that comes from, I just go whotf. So I have two problems with this advice, one is "you won't get hurt?" And you people actually believe that,? How much longer are we going to deny the fact that like happiness, hurt and pain is what life is? I mean, don't you want character development? Ha. And two is "don't have expectations?" What? (You gotta say the "what" like @stacythiru does) So, you just get what you get and that's it? You don't get to yearn for more and better? That's bullshit if you ask me. 

Basically, this is me telling you the thing about expectations. One, most expectations are natural. It's what's expected. Like you getting good grades, you might get told that you have to over and over, but you already know you have to. No one sits down and writes things they expect of you, there's no monthly subscription for things people expect of you, and yet if you fail to do those things, people get hurt. Everytime you set out to do something, even the smallest things like making strides, from the moment that foot leaves the ground, the natural expectation of where and how hard it lands is made. It deviates and you get hurt. Think bigger, most of the things people are disappointed by aren't named expectations. So no pressure, but you know what's expected of you, they don't have to tell you. So do it. Then not saying it is not equivalent to them not expecting it. I would go as far as to call it a Right, lucky y'all I ain't doing law because I'd get this shit passed and you'd go to jail for doing the bare minimum. My favourite example is kindness. It's a natural expectation that you be kind, to animals and people, unless it's my ex ofc. You don't have to be told to be kind, because you know it's what's expected of you. So that rises to your everyday duties to your wife, your man and your family. Remember, them not saying certain things, does not mean you forfeit. Do it either way. It's their right. But ofc you can't get everything people desire, you can't possibly know that, that's why number 2. 

Expectations are what you deserve. Everytime you expect to be treated with kindness, with love and everything else you expect, it's because you deserve it. No two ways about it. When you expect a rose and a rosé for your birthday, there's no such thing as expecting too much, it's simply what you deserve. When you expect that she be loyal to you, it's not expecting much, it's what you deserve. Don't even think. It ends there, you expected it because you deserved it. You could expect planes for your birthday and it would still be what you deserve. Because you are you. You haven't come all this way to get the bare minimum. 

See, everytime you retract an expectation, you need to ask yourself, kwani I don't deserve that? Everytime you don't voice your expectations in business and marriage and friendship, ask yourself louder, why don't you think you deserve that? Because I mean, what else does it mean? I won't deny the fact that we sometimes overreach in what we expect, that's true. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve it. You do, they just aren't able to get it to you. But you deserve it. People think it's metaphorical when women are told they deserve the world, it isn't. They do but again, no one can give it to them. That doesn't mean they stop expecting that much. 

We get hurt and we hurt. And that's just how fucked up life is. I'm not saying that you will get what you deserve, I'm not saying that you should sell a kidney to fulfill people's expectations, no. I'm simply saying they deserve to expect it. It's alright if you can't give, and I bet you're doing your best but they weren't expecting too much, you just couldn't deliver, and it's okay. So getting hurt because your expectations weren't met isn't a bad thing, it's a symbol of how much further you need to go. It's more often a symbol of if you're in the right place with the right person. You won't just sit and take what you get because you don't want to have too much expectations of him or her. If they can't deliver, you move on to someone that can. You don't settle until you're as close as possible to what you deserve. Don't come at me with contentment quotes, because if you take time and look, you don't expect too much, you expect what you think is what would make you happy. I believe it's a human instinct to expect what we'd give. So if you'd do that for them, how is it too much expectation that they do the same for you, why settle for less? Why be shushed about voicing what you should be getting. Find a better job if you truly believe you deserve better. Find a better man, get better friendships. And the next time someone says, you had too high expectations, they're basically saying you don't deserve that much. I'd say slap them but I don't want to got to jail for incitement (wink wink)