The Misconception that is Love Languages

 

I agree with the general sentiment that the world needs therapy because even in ways we are unaware of, the world in its ugly ways has poked its fangs into our lives, left us scarred. And yes, while we are the world, we are its victims too. The paradox of simultaneousness. Anyhow, that’s far from what this is about. From a misguided savior’s complex, which still is you know none-the-less saving stead, people went too far and decided to bring therapy to the world. From social media therapists to therapy patients, quotes and sayings from therapy have been released to the public. This reminds me of when someone said they don’t read self-help books because “what does a middle-aged white man living in a first-world country know about growing up as a black woman in Africa” and I think about that a lot. Because word? While not always ill-targeted, we need to understand that concepts we consume that are meant to be influential shouldn’t always be because simply; circumstance. But not necessarily because that you wouldn’t succeed, these books sell as much as they do because well, they succeed. My problem is that you lose yourself striving to live the life of a white middle-aged man (author’s life) instead of your own. This is similar to what social media therapists and writers are doing, they're mass diagnosing and prescribing treatment procedures and concepts, enter love languages. Therapy is one-on-one because care is important when introducing patients who are usually very vulnerable to healing procedures.
 Love languages are categorized not because of intensity or importance but from levels of understanding. People who undergo trauma that make them feel or misinterpret love need a soft realign. This is where the concept of love languages comes in, therapists use these different forms to reintroduce love. Starting with the one with the most familiarity guides them into relearning the identification of love and its acceptance. Could start in any order and is specific to each person. But when love languages were introduced to the world, there were no guides, people were just left to interpret it, however, and thus the delusion. And while I understand the purpose that love language categorization has evolved to serve a purpose and help people learn how to love and be loved, it has specialized it. And I know what you are thinking, that having a preferred love language does not mean that you cant love or appreciate other forms. But you see, that is exactly what it is doing and for a larger percentage, subconsciously. People will overlook more love in the form of gifts and accept less love in physical touch(we’re assuming this example has physical touch as a primary language of love). And yes, I believe that love is quantifiable which is beside the point. The illusion of a preferred love language makes you biased toward other forms, you miss out on opportunities to experience love and you limit your expression of it.

I firmly believe that we are meant to express love as often as we can and in as broad ways as we can. Limiting the forms of love we are able to appreciate means that people who express love in ways we choose to not acknowledge are left to feel unappreciated. (Unappreciated by Cherish starts playing) You miss out on a lot of that love. And in the span total of your life, you experience so much less love than you would have if you discarded the illusion that love is not to be spoken in a universal language. And I promise baby, you deserve a whole lot of love. All you have to do is open yourself up to appreciate gifts more, embrace more, tell those you love that you love them more, affirm more, and do acts for people you love. The more love we can receive and put out into the world, the more love there is in the world. (I bet you can tell I was good at math)