Basics.

The question usually is why I called my blog Basics. The answer is rather simple, the things I talk about are things we already know about, they're basic. All I do is provide a little retrospect and sometimes different perspective. I discovered that we know so much, but knowing only implies understanding, it does not mean it. What I'm going to be writing about below are things you know, and I'm sorry about the monotony but as you read this, it's of import that you pay attention; that you understand. So recently, one of the most urban and gorgeous person I know was abused, and talking to her I kept realizing that it's not that she didn't know, it's not naivety that gets people abused. It really isn't. As children of God, I find that humans, like their father, are very judgemental. And sitting in the seat of the judge means you feel pure, exempt from the happenings of those you judge. We convince ourselves that we would handle things better if ...

We all want forever, i mean at least for the things we enjoy and the people we enjoy being with. Relationships is such situations, once you're in a good relationship, you never really want it to end, you always want to wake up next to them, to have more dates, to visit more places together, to be happier. But you see, the tragedy is, nothing lasts forever, so we make things last for as long as we can. I know you know that, but do you really understand that you know it? When we talk about relationships, all people think about is how it begins and the course of it, call it hopeful thinking even. And thinking about the end might be considered anticipating it or you could choose to call it being thoughtful. In relationships, we always hope it ends well if it ever does because in the moment we are so in love with this person. So the technicals of how it ends and possibly the when are left to hope. Choosing to focus on the now, and not really the end. And Hope is such a bleak context.  T...

I do understand, really. To give because you get. People attach reward to everything right? I mean why do something if it has no returns? I agree actually. But my problem is with the fail of acknowledgement to forms of reward that exist. Especially with deeds of decency and human welfare.  There's a heart gratuity that comes with helping strangers, like orphans or street kids, it makes you feel better about yourself because little by little, you're doing your part to make the world a better place for the people you can. But here's the weird part, you will not let yourself feel the same amount of gratuity from helping people in your life. You see, I do understand the difference in ability. The orphan can't extend a hand back but your friend can, yes. But that quote about holding yourself back from helping people because if you needed help they wouldn't do the same? You're probably right about them not going to do the same if you needed the help but if you can hel...

Simply because someone gives us love. We expect bliss. We convince ourselves that they could be nothing but angels. So, when the pain comes, they become devils. It becomes a breach, a betrayal.  We begin to question the very love we couldn't live without. Simply because now they are causing pain as if the two cannot coexist. As if one does not simply come after the other. Because a cup broke, does it cease to become a cup? Is it simply not just a broken cup? Isn't pain simply broken love? You see, everyone is capable of love as much as they are capable of causing pain. We have all been hurt by people that loved us, we have all hurt people we love. It's unfair to doubt it, the love. They will hurt you, you need to understand that and not be scared of that eventuality. Eventuality exists in the future, don't forget to live in the now

 Awareness is something we presumably know. But I find that we only think we know and aren't aware. But what's the difference? I would define awareness as the acknowledgment of knowledge, to know that you know, to know that you do not. People think that it is enough to know, but never really think about knowing that they know. Then again, but what's the point of knowing that you know if you already know it?  Okay, enough wordplay. When someone asks a question that you know the answer to, you just give it. But when you don't know the answer, you think about the answer you do not know. Now, do you think it makes you any lesser to not think of the answer? They say the thought counts, yes. So what if you thought about the answer you know before giving it. What if everything you know how to do, you'd think about, even though you know you know how to do it. Do you think you'd do better? Record scratch, let's look at it from a different angle. We can almost agree t...

This should've been the one thing i should've written about first. it's always on my mind. let me know your views in the comment section.  do you ever mean for something in a positive way and it comes out all wrong or they get it all wrong? maybe something you say or something you do maybe because of the way you said or did it or their history  thats the difference between intention and interpretation. what you meant and how it got out. so can we control both?  

 So, why do relationships fail? There's not really a singular answer, there are lots of reasons. But I've been thinking about one so I'll share it with you?  The most basic way to ask this is, Can you tell the difference in the love you feel for your family from the one you feel for your friends and the kind for your romance partners? Can you say I love you to people and be able to be genuine and indifferent about how you mean it to people? I think not. everyone I have engaged within this was not able to, and for males, I concluded that's particularly why love for them was hard to say around each other or even to each other. It's because they only recognize love in a romantic setting, So they are unable to say they love each other, unable to recognize that they do. I think it is why when you say I love you to a friend, they would consider that a leeway, they become indifferent in the friendship wanting more because you love them, it subconsciously registers as somet...

 When I was writing about diversity I kept thinking about compatibility. What kind of people are we most compatible with? And while the answer can be as broad and as definite as you want it to be the two basics are; someone who is as similar to you as possible or someone who is as different as you are to them.  Now the thinking behind the one that is similar to you is familiarity. Because this person is similar to yourself, you're comfortable and predictable, less anxiety you might think. But I know what you are thinking, doesn't that just mean you are with yourself inside your comfort zone, won't you ever explore news. Actually, you can explore together, so it does make sense. On top of which they get your anime references. Now the other side is, someone different, and yes I also know what you are thinking here. someone different means you might not entirely enjoy the things you enjoy and that they might not enjoy the half time they spend with you because well, you like we...

 The one thing they won't tell you about self-discovery is that you really find out things about yourself. And there is allure in that, you become more certain. You become more confident in yourself, develop a sense of self that connects you better with who you are, make better decisions overall, and appreciate yourself more. But the thing we know but aren't exactly aware of as we begin this journey is that no one is perfect.  The one thing they won't tell you about self-discovery is that you find out things about yourself that aren't as impressive as we hope. We find out things that are ugly and unpleasant. And we're not ready so it's a little like a horror scene in a PG-rated film. It really takes you back, the discovery of the human monstrosity that is ourselves. And I know what you are thinking, ''the point to self-discovery is that we fix those parts of ourselves right?'' But this is where words really begin to play. See, we fix parts of our...

 I think we all know that the same way we experience an immensely wide range of emotions, the people around us do too. But I have discovered that we are not aware of it.  Stemming from expectations we have and a subconscious filler, everyone around us is supposed and expected to be happy. Not that it is said but more because they expect the same too. You see, it has become so deep rooted that even though we might not openly take credit for it, other people around us being happy makes us happy. People will say that it is because moods are contagious and we get influenced by what others are feeling but in reality, we feel happy because we subconsciously attach a feeling of accomplishment. Our subconscious convinces itself and eventually us that we are somehow responsible for their happiness. So if you think about it, syndromes such as the savior complex or healer syndrome came to life from this. When someone around us is sad or crying or just generally unhappy, our subconscious ...

I have to open this piece with a disclaimer, if you are a believer of Universal Energies, you've probably read my Karma piece and don't agree with it. This is another piece I'd like you to still read even though we disagree. Being a philosophical writer means these are my ideas and translations, so don't read this trying to compare it to what you already know, open and clean mind please. Anyways, in my experience, energies apply in convenience. Karma could work for you and not work for someone else, hence translations of energy applications in pieces like this.  Manifestation, basically you say or propel your wants to the universe and the universe gives it to you. Sounds beautiful doesn't it? That's because it is. But let me explain to you how it works. First thing you need to know and understand is that we are the universe, the universe is within us as we are within it. Thus the subconscious, while it's you, it isn't really conscious you, i ...

Yes yes yes, I know that's not actually a word. Last night someone asked me to describe hurt. And i said, "That's what you feel when people cause you pain". She then went on to say that people we love, hurt us the most and asked if I knew how to stop hurt. I didn't. But it got me thinking, is that true?  See, i think that we believe that because we are most gullible with these people, because we simply love them, when they do unorthodoxies, we as humans are dramatic enough to attach a sense of betrayal that is quite often inexistent. We think, the moment love occurs, their humanity vanishes. We expect perfection from them. And while some of us go to bed thinking, "i know people screw up, I'd forgive" when it really comes down to it, do you remember that? Everything wrong that people we love do, we assume is intentional. We go on the frenzy that they did that because they don't love us. Now remember, I'm not justifying people lying or hiding s...

Compliments are flattering at worst, and I discovered that like myself, there's a lot of people out there who are unable to see the genuinety in compliments. Especially because we are our worst critics and when people compliment or hype something we consider not good enough, it raises suspicion. Because what do they want in return? Why tf are they lying? But here's a discovery I've made that I'd like you to think about a lot. You know how we all agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion? well, of course except those who are just wrong. How we all agree that tastes differ, that some people like ass and others titties instead of just all together agreeing on both? I think we fail to acknowledge that about our own works. I think we fail in the retrospective that even though we might not like works we make, others could like them. That its okay for them to like something about you that you don't like.  I think it's important that you understand that denyi...

Growing up I especially struggled a lot with finding myself. Finding things I wanted to do, getting things done and just generally being out there. While partially this is fault to my mental illness, I found that I struggled with the wording around "cowardice". You see, you're either doing it, or you're scared which then makes you a coward. But the problem was, while it was true that I was scared, I did not believe entirely that I was a coward. I mean my fears were not beyond reason. Regardless I remained a coward for a while. a long while actually, not that long though just most of my childhood. oh and adulthood. But recently I encountered someone who in a way reset the thinking. I was scared, and all she did was say 'it was "okay", after which we proceeded to do the thing I was scared of. And yeah, it's not what you're thinking, unless it is. Anyways, I kept thinking about it, was I less of a coward now? But see, the fear wasn't...

I'm a car guy and in the process of car making, there's always the prototype or sometime a carving to test the aerodynamics and people commentary and all that. But very rarely does that translate to the reality that the markets receive. Thats the difference between feelings and reality. There's always how it feels and there's always how it actually is. Skip trace and hold that thought for me. Humans have perhaps the most complex and widest range of emotions.You wake up feeling tired and by mid-day you've gotten angry at like six people cause, people are the worst, and by the end of the day you're happy the day is ending and you're going back to bed but like you're also tired and angry that tomorrow is another day and there's deadlines and you're happy cause Friday is coming up and truth is, it's all so much and complicated. I meam basically, everyone you come across makes you feel something different. But where am I going with thi...

The modern mother and father are supposed to be in a word better at it. You know with all the improvements and steps society has taken between then and now surely must have accounted for something. Statistically speaking the average adult either has parent-related trauma or knows someone who is and while that has somehow been found as a bonding base for humorists, it goes a lot deeper than anyone will want to admit. But by the bible, all of us will swear that we will do right by our children, that when we do get there, we will get ready, that our children will be the most emotionally healthy, or at least that’s the intention. But you see there are a lot of assumptions in that swear.  One is the assumption that all this happens at our timing, it doesn’t always. The rate of teenage pregnancies for instance in the country are soaring and I’ll assure you these kids did not intend. But yeah, its nice for you that that is not you, but are you that sure about how things will t...

The people closest are always the last to find out. Or most often are when it comes to depression. And over time, from Twitter to real life I've heard people put it on them that it was because they didn't pay attention enough or because they didn't love them enough and there was a resultant pain streak where parents and lovers drown in guilt thinking, i wasn't enough.  So maybe this is my own pov but other members of the depressed society agree with me so hear me out. While in cases where the trauma cause is the loved ones, guilt is a misjudgement. So listen and hear me well if you've lost someone to depression or suicide and didn't see it coming.  It's not because you didn't pay enough attention that you missed the signs, it's not because your love was not enough that what happened happened. I assure you, you didn't know because they didn't want you to know. There aren't any signs because they make sure there aren't any, it's bec...

The most prevalent wrong advice I've heard is 'don't have expectations and you won't get hurt.' and while I would see where that comes from, I just go whotf. So I have two problems with this advice, one is "you won't get hurt?" And you people actually believe that,? How much longer are we going to deny the fact that like happiness, hurt and pain is what life is? I mean, don't you want character development? Ha. And two is "don't have expectations?" What? (You gotta say the "what" like @stacythiru does) So, you just get what you get and that's it? You don't get to yearn for more and better? That's bullshit if you ask me.  Basically, this is me telling you the thing about expectations. One, most expectations are natural. It's what's expected. Like you getting good grades, you might get told that you have to over and over, but you already know you have to. No one sits down and writes things they ...

If you are possibly here to understand how our intentions, motives, desires and the emotional drive with which we conduct our actions have an effect on our lives and how they are related to the term “Karma”, stop. What this is is a perception of karma, what it is, what I believe it is, not how it works, I haven't figured that out fully yet. The Sanskrit defined karma as consequences to our actions, good or bad. Their definitions however revolved around lives, like actions from your previous life fruited the kind of life you live in this one and ones in this one determine the next life. I might even have thought that karma could be the reason why life cycles. But I'm undecided on reincarnation and all of that so pause. Over time tho, as other people and philosophies adopted the terminology or belief, it was shortened to what we in Swahili say "malipo ni hapa hapa duniani". Also, I know, bit does sound negative but it isn't, karma is both spirited I beli...

Like the third or fourth step to when someone tells you they love you, then comes the hardest question, why do you love me? Some say if you can't answer that question, the love is a fraud. Others just go wild and will not leave the paper blank so you'll get so many reasons, some that don't even make sense, but love doesn't either so it's okay. I mean, there's an unsummable number of things that could draw you to someone, so many things and yet just one or two things. sometimes it's subconsciously decided but now often it's things we see and experience. (Before you go on, scroll to the comments section and tell me things that drew you to your current or previous lovers) Thus the fight between inner beauty and the physical arose. Like God, considering some of us are His children, we claim to look at what's beneath, the heart we say. This includes similarity of people’s beliefs and, to a lesser extent, similarity of personality traits as well ...