Basics.

 So, why do relationships fail? There's not really a singular answer, there are lots of reasons. But I've been thinking about one so I'll share it with you?  The most basic way to ask this is, Can you tell the difference in the love you feel for your family from the one you feel for your friends and the kind for your romance partners? Can you say I love you to people and be able to be genuine and indifferent about how you mean it to people? I think not. everyone I have engaged within this was not able to, and for males, I concluded that's particularly why love for them was hard to say around each other or even to each other. It's because they only recognize love in a romantic setting, So they are unable to say they love each other, unable to recognize that they do. I think it is why when you say I love you to a friend, they would consider that a leeway, they become indifferent in the friendship wanting more because you love them, it subconsciously registers as somet...

 When I was writing about diversity I kept thinking about compatibility. What kind of people are we most compatible with? And while the answer can be as broad and as definite as you want it to be the two basics are; someone who is as similar to you as possible or someone who is as different as you are to them.  Now the thinking behind the one that is similar to you is familiarity. Because this person is similar to yourself, you're comfortable and predictable, less anxiety you might think. But I know what you are thinking, doesn't that just mean you are with yourself inside your comfort zone, won't you ever explore news. Actually, you can explore together, so it does make sense. On top of which they get your anime references. Now the other side is, someone different, and yes I also know what you are thinking here. someone different means you might not entirely enjoy the things you enjoy and that they might not enjoy the half time they spend with you because well, you like we...

 The one thing they won't tell you about self-discovery is that you really find out things about yourself. And there is allure in that, you become more certain. You become more confident in yourself, develop a sense of self that connects you better with who you are, make better decisions overall, and appreciate yourself more. But the thing we know but aren't exactly aware of as we begin this journey is that no one is perfect.  The one thing they won't tell you about self-discovery is that you find out things about yourself that aren't as impressive as we hope. We find out things that are ugly and unpleasant. And we're not ready so it's a little like a horror scene in a PG-rated film. It really takes you back, the discovery of the human monstrosity that is ourselves. And I know what you are thinking, ''the point to self-discovery is that we fix those parts of ourselves right?'' But this is where words really begin to play. See, we fix parts of our...

 I think we all know that the same way we experience an immensely wide range of emotions, the people around us do too. But I have discovered that we are not aware of it.  Stemming from expectations we have and a subconscious filler, everyone around us is supposed and expected to be happy. Not that it is said but more because they expect the same too. You see, it has become so deep rooted that even though we might not openly take credit for it, other people around us being happy makes us happy. People will say that it is because moods are contagious and we get influenced by what others are feeling but in reality, we feel happy because we subconsciously attach a feeling of accomplishment. Our subconscious convinces itself and eventually us that we are somehow responsible for their happiness. So if you think about it, syndromes such as the savior complex or healer syndrome came to life from this. When someone around us is sad or crying or just generally unhappy, our subconscious ...

I have to open this piece with a disclaimer, if you are a believer of Universal Energies, you've probably read my Karma piece and don't agree with it. This is another piece I'd like you to still read even though we disagree. Being a philosophical writer means these are my ideas and translations, so don't read this trying to compare it to what you already know, open and clean mind please. Anyways, in my experience, energies apply in convenience. Karma could work for you and not work for someone else, hence translations of energy applications in pieces like this.  Manifestation, basically you say or propel your wants to the universe and the universe gives it to you. Sounds beautiful doesn't it? That's because it is. But let me explain to you how it works. First thing you need to know and understand is that we are the universe, the universe is within us as we are within it. Thus the subconscious, while it's you, it isn't really conscious you, i ...

Yes yes yes, I know that's not actually a word. Last night someone asked me to describe hurt. And i said, "That's what you feel when people cause you pain". She then went on to say that people we love, hurt us the most and asked if I knew how to stop hurt. I didn't. But it got me thinking, is that true?  See, i think that we believe that because we are most gullible with these people, because we simply love them, when they do unorthodoxies, we as humans are dramatic enough to attach a sense of betrayal that is quite often inexistent. We think, the moment love occurs, their humanity vanishes. We expect perfection from them. And while some of us go to bed thinking, "i know people screw up, I'd forgive" when it really comes down to it, do you remember that? Everything wrong that people we love do, we assume is intentional. We go on the frenzy that they did that because they don't love us. Now remember, I'm not justifying people lying or hiding s...

Compliments are flattering at worst, and I discovered that like myself, there's a lot of people out there who are unable to see the genuinety in compliments. Especially because we are our worst critics and when people compliment or hype something we consider not good enough, it raises suspicion. Because what do they want in return? Why tf are they lying? But here's a discovery I've made that I'd like you to think about a lot. You know how we all agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion? well, of course except those who are just wrong. How we all agree that tastes differ, that some people like ass and others titties instead of just all together agreeing on both? I think we fail to acknowledge that about our own works. I think we fail in the retrospective that even though we might not like works we make, others could like them. That its okay for them to like something about you that you don't like.  I think it's important that you understand that denyi...

Growing up I especially struggled a lot with finding myself. Finding things I wanted to do, getting things done and just generally being out there. While partially this is fault to my mental illness, I found that I struggled with the wording around "cowardice". You see, you're either doing it, or you're scared which then makes you a coward. But the problem was, while it was true that I was scared, I did not believe entirely that I was a coward. I mean my fears were not beyond reason. Regardless I remained a coward for a while. a long while actually, not that long though just most of my childhood. oh and adulthood. But recently I encountered someone who in a way reset the thinking. I was scared, and all she did was say 'it was "okay", after which we proceeded to do the thing I was scared of. And yeah, it's not what you're thinking, unless it is. Anyways, I kept thinking about it, was I less of a coward now? But see, the fear wasn't...

I'm a car guy and in the process of car making, there's always the prototype or sometime a carving to test the aerodynamics and people commentary and all that. But very rarely does that translate to the reality that the markets receive. Thats the difference between feelings and reality. There's always how it feels and there's always how it actually is. Skip trace and hold that thought for me. Humans have perhaps the most complex and widest range of emotions.You wake up feeling tired and by mid-day you've gotten angry at like six people cause, people are the worst, and by the end of the day you're happy the day is ending and you're going back to bed but like you're also tired and angry that tomorrow is another day and there's deadlines and you're happy cause Friday is coming up and truth is, it's all so much and complicated. I meam basically, everyone you come across makes you feel something different. But where am I going with thi...

The modern mother and father are supposed to be in a word better at it. You know with all the improvements and steps society has taken between then and now surely must have accounted for something. Statistically speaking the average adult either has parent-related trauma or knows someone who is and while that has somehow been found as a bonding base for humorists, it goes a lot deeper than anyone will want to admit. But by the bible, all of us will swear that we will do right by our children, that when we do get there, we will get ready, that our children will be the most emotionally healthy, or at least that’s the intention. But you see there are a lot of assumptions in that swear.  One is the assumption that all this happens at our timing, it doesn’t always. The rate of teenage pregnancies for instance in the country are soaring and I’ll assure you these kids did not intend. But yeah, its nice for you that that is not you, but are you that sure about how things will t...

The people closest are always the last to find out. Or most often are when it comes to depression. And over time, from Twitter to real life I've heard people put it on them that it was because they didn't pay attention enough or because they didn't love them enough and there was a resultant pain streak where parents and lovers drown in guilt thinking, i wasn't enough.  So maybe this is my own pov but other members of the depressed society agree with me so hear me out. While in cases where the trauma cause is the loved ones, guilt is a misjudgement. So listen and hear me well if you've lost someone to depression or suicide and didn't see it coming.  It's not because you didn't pay enough attention that you missed the signs, it's not because your love was not enough that what happened happened. I assure you, you didn't know because they didn't want you to know. There aren't any signs because they make sure there aren't any, it's bec...

The most prevalent wrong advice I've heard is 'don't have expectations and you won't get hurt.' and while I would see where that comes from, I just go whotf. So I have two problems with this advice, one is "you won't get hurt?" And you people actually believe that,? How much longer are we going to deny the fact that like happiness, hurt and pain is what life is? I mean, don't you want character development? Ha. And two is "don't have expectations?" What? (You gotta say the "what" like @stacythiru does) So, you just get what you get and that's it? You don't get to yearn for more and better? That's bullshit if you ask me.  Basically, this is me telling you the thing about expectations. One, most expectations are natural. It's what's expected. Like you getting good grades, you might get told that you have to over and over, but you already know you have to. No one sits down and writes things they ...

If you are possibly here to understand how our intentions, motives, desires and the emotional drive with which we conduct our actions have an effect on our lives and how they are related to the term “Karma”, stop. What this is is a perception of karma, what it is, what I believe it is, not how it works, I haven't figured that out fully yet. The Sanskrit defined karma as consequences to our actions, good or bad. Their definitions however revolved around lives, like actions from your previous life fruited the kind of life you live in this one and ones in this one determine the next life. I might even have thought that karma could be the reason why life cycles. But I'm undecided on reincarnation and all of that so pause. Over time tho, as other people and philosophies adopted the terminology or belief, it was shortened to what we in Swahili say "malipo ni hapa hapa duniani". Also, I know, bit does sound negative but it isn't, karma is both spirited I beli...

Like the third or fourth step to when someone tells you they love you, then comes the hardest question, why do you love me? Some say if you can't answer that question, the love is a fraud. Others just go wild and will not leave the paper blank so you'll get so many reasons, some that don't even make sense, but love doesn't either so it's okay. I mean, there's an unsummable number of things that could draw you to someone, so many things and yet just one or two things. sometimes it's subconsciously decided but now often it's things we see and experience. (Before you go on, scroll to the comments section and tell me things that drew you to your current or previous lovers) Thus the fight between inner beauty and the physical arose. Like God, considering some of us are His children, we claim to look at what's beneath, the heart we say. This includes similarity of people’s beliefs and, to a lesser extent, similarity of personality traits as well ...

People might say that I have a quick mouth, those people don't know me. Some might say that I have a quick brain, they don't know me that well. But like I said in Fault, blame has to fall somewhere, and when it isn't accurately given or admitted, it falls in the wrong place and ruins things, or just ruins things. This is not my excuse for how I always have an explanation for everything that happens. For the longest time, I've struggled to understand how my explanation for what happened and why became an excuse,and I just got an answer. Perception.  so ask me; What's the difference between an              excuse and explanation? Your willingness to listen and accept. I'll explain.  When someone hurts you and they try to justify what they did, its wrong. There is no justification for wrong, except the times that there are, in which case is it even a wrong anymore?  anyway, Regardless, there is almost always reason for everything that happe...

I was in my first relationship a little early last year, and it was alright. But when it ended, i couldn't stop thinking about why it did, i mean put the instantaneous reasons aside, now that i think of it, there was way more than that, and i just couldn't stop thinking about it, why didn't it work. It lacked something, a reason most of us don't really put into consideration, the basic reason as to why we go into relationships. I find that for people, the reason to why they're in a relationship is because of characters of their partner. I can't say what hers was(i mean,ha, like there could be a reason to be with me except pity),  for others it's because they can, for others it's because their partner is pretty or some other superficial reason. See, we only think about what we're getting, we assume they want us too so they must be getting something, we don't really figure out what we are actually giving. And this being selfish isn't even my...

Responsibility as a human trait is a factor that has always remained at a perfect equilibrium. Something or someone has to take blame and as often is with the human specie, disseminate blame. It’s either your fault, their fault or something’s fault. Now, it is important to remember that where the responsibility falls isn’t always where the actual blame lies. Let’s see into that a little, how often do people accept blame, how often do people say yes, “that is my fault?” how often do you? I will answer that for you, rarely and at best, not often enough. A burden lies with responsibility, a need to set things right, a guilt and thus a lot of people would preferably escape these. However though, while you read this article, I would like you to think back to and remember the times you did take blame. I’m going to mention a little about stats you could already know, but as you scheme through, pay a little more thought into it, thank you. ·       ...

Trust me, I know how beautiful the stuff of fairy tales  is. But what if I burst your little bubble and said that fairy tales  are nothing more than altered realities, that someone creates fairy tales , that someone is responsible for destiny. (And I know how badly they deserve to be punched in the face.) What I am simply saying is that you are not the winner of destiny, rather the victim of it. Hear me out. For destiny to work, there's always more than one person involved. What if everyone else was in on it except you? Think about it. You could meet the love of your life at the coffee shop reading your favorite novel with your favorite colors on and whatever more you fantasise  it to be like and oh boy wouldn’t that be beautiful destiny, unless they already knew this about you, unless they knew exactly what to do to stun you like that. You bump into your employer on the street and you get offered a job or money or whatever, and that’s cute, unless of course you we...

Now, as much as people parade to be in control, there are those few factors that are just beyond us as humans. Pain and Hurt are such. They demand to be felt and there’s really not much we can naturally do to outrun or ignore these feelings. Again, they demand to be felt. But at the same time, pain is not relative. I, for instance, are terribly terrified of needles yet my little sister not as much. While one thing could cause you tremendous pain, to the next guy it could tickle. While Tai Lung’s Nerve Attack totally wrecked the Furious Five, it only tickled Po. But the trick is, it is not a measure of strength or weakness.  So while you’re thinking about it, in your everyday life, we do so many things both consciously and subconsciously. Out of all these human feats, our friends, spouses and strangers get offended, they get hurt. Notice I said friends too? (For the rest of this idea, I’ll refer you to a previous article, Consideration. ) More often than not the intention t...

Whenever something wrong happens, to begin the fixing part or moving on part, blame has to be issued. So, whose fault is it? Here’s good news, there’s always going to be an else. Someone or something that you can blame, surprisingly at no extra cost at all. Notice I said extra. Now I get how with nothing to lose how easy that would be to do. But what’s rarely ever in the picture is the impact of someone or something else carrying your blame, the fact that fault does serve a purpose. See, when you accept blame, the subconscious asks “why” and in turn answers the “how” which is the problem. The manifestation of this is the guilt you feel. And because that sucks, your subconscious again goes ahead to formulate an anti-again parameter so it doesn’t happen again. What you may choose to call fixing the problem. Unfortunately, the past cannot be fixed, at least until they invent a time machine or discover a portal to the past. But basically it won’t happen again. Not accepting faul...